Bittersweet Aftertaste...

I keep waiting for someone to tell me that it's all going to be ok... And that there's nothing for me to worry about... But that's not going to happen... Because that's always my job... And I don't believe myself... Even Marcia who always makes me feel better, made me feel worse... But if you looked at me, you wouldn't even be able to tell... I'm always strong on the outside... Always... While I'm deterorating slowly on the inside... I hate that this is the person that I've become... Or rather, the person that I let myself continue to be... I won't even tell people why I'm so afraid right now... Why I feel like a bug that just hit a windshield on a car that was going 100mph... I've only told one of my friends... And I shouldn't have even told her...

I just want it to be ten days from this coming Wednesday... Which could be the first time I cry in front of someone in a long time...

*Prays for a negative*

~B~

"The Best Part Of 'Believe' Is The 'Lie'..."